December 12, 2009

Confession: Bacon is overrated

What can I say about bacon that hasn't been said before?

We can all agree — those of us who eat bacon — that it is yummy, and nicely filling before a day of outdoor activities. But those who laud bacon above all other foods, who ascribe to it the magical power to transmute all dishes into yumminess, are beyond human understanding. Bacon is not the second coming; bacon is not chocolate.

(At this point I understand anyone's frustration during the chocoholic 90s. I have much sympathy for anyone who would have preferred a simple cheesecake or lemon chiffon pie during that decade. One simply can't escape the juggernaut. For me, a nice sausage, wurst or slice of scrapple would be as welcome an accompaniment as a slice of bacon.)

One just can't get away from the bacon. If it's not superfluous bacon added to the main course or dessert, it's some idiot who made Christmas cards/stocking stuffers/cookies/the dog from/to resemble bacon. Projects that look like they were slapped together by pre-schooler on a sugar high are suddenly The Thing with the addition of bacon. We have lost our discrimination and our taste. A cone of greasy, uncooked bacon does not a Christmas tree make. Stupidity is not ironic, cutting edge or daring.

The bacon juggernaut is especially perplexing because so many people simply don't eat bacon for religious (it's neither Kosher nor Halal), ethical (not vegetarian, definitely factory farming) or health reasons (hellooo sodium). One would think one of the people moaning about their wonderful bacon would remember that a good chunk of their friends don't eat it.

The next time someone wishes to celebrate bacon, I do wish she or he pause for a moment, and consider expanding their diet to include, say, a nice sausage.