SusieJ's Advent Calendar December 3, 2009

Confession: Over-done

With Tiger Woods is all over the news, it seems appropriate to say that I don't care. A divorce is always a shame, but it happens. I don't care who said what. I don't care who had a breakdown. I don't care who was eliminated, voted off or kicked out. I don't care who becomes the next Top Whatsis. And this is why I won't watch the Food Network.

For a start, they show fewer traditional cooking programs and more "reality" television. Alton Brown is always educational, and I love his quirky humor and learning the science behind food. Rachel Ray is too perky; Ina too mellow; Gaida too Italian and I really, really don't believe that "Semi-Homemade's" real name is "Sara Lee." It's just too perfect.

Live cooking? Sure, that's fun to watch! Sarah Moulton would cook an entire dinner live in the hour the show ran; Wednesdays, a viewer would cook along at home. Moulton would also take calls during the show about what she was making or any random food question. She's moved on to PBS. Mario Batalli would cook for three guests, talk about the dishes, the region of Italy, his travels there, and answer questions from the guests. And he was wearing those stupid Crocs already.

The cooking in viewers' homes shows were great: Tyler Florence's Food 911, Gordon Elliot's Door Knock Dinners (he'd convince a random household to let him, a chef and a camera crew make dinner from whatever was in the fridge; I wanted to see what he could do with my fridge, home then to only an open can of cat food).

Above all, there was respect for the food and the viewers. Now it's "drama" and "personality" — both scripted. The Food Network doesn't want to teach or explore (with the rare exception), but only to manipulate and monetize eyeballs. The aggregating food blogs like Slashfood are full of rumors of who wins what contest, and who's losing viewers. It's gossip, and not even interesting gossip at that (hypocritical congressmen — that's good gossip).

I want to bake. I want to eat. I want to learn about food. And I want the only drama in my life to be fictional, and to call itself that too.